The Plan

In about a week I have my assessments and this is my plan for when that ominous moment arrives: I have created six audio tracks and loaded them onto 6 separate MP3 players that will play them on repeat. The audio tracks are from the conversations i recorded on a dictaphone while the participators made paper beads. The six tracks have general, loose themes: politics, art, music/personal, relationships, culture/location and me. They will have headphones so that people can either sit down and listen to the past workshops, or converse me with, while either playing with the beads, or making their own. I have purchased 6 individual chairs that i felt like represented the feel of the conversations that were made.

What I feel that this project actively does is help people stop and concentrate on their own thoughts. In this fast-pased world where everything is information obsessed and interested in social networking instead of physical, social contact, The conversations that developed usually was from a direct influence of the "meaningful" thoughts that they wrote down in the beads, or visa versa.

 I have realized that this project is mainly a social one, where I tried to interact with the "audience" or "participators" in a more intimate and interested way than creating a piece of work myself in hopes that the public will find it important. Art is relevant to society and the art world has perverted it by making it elite and inaccessible for those who haven't had the same training or understanding in "art speak" which then makes the general public feel that either art is unattainable or not for them. I feel, from the general excitement from this project, is that it has proven that art is still accessible and relatable for everyone, and not just the illite.

Workshops in Beirut

For spring break I had the amazing opportunity to travel down to Beirut, Lebanon. While there I did a workshop with four college or post college-aged women. I brought snacks like crisps and biscuits to help the social feel, and we made around 100 beads altogether.

Newcastle

This weekend I was able to journey down to Newcastle and have a bead making workshop with a few MFA1 and 2 students at the art school there. I bought hummus and bread along with chocolate chip cookies while the 6 of them, british and americans, made beads and chit chatted about whatever came to their minds.

Something Meaningful Sites Continued

 After a few months of leaving the Something Meaningful social networking sites, I decided to get myself back into it even though they are no longer officially apart of my future MFA show. Many people have been interested in the progress and process of the work I have been doing and so therefor I feel I owe it to them to continue them. I have been taking photos of the workshops and posting them, also I have been listening to the conversations from the workshops and posting some of the things that had been spoken.

On top of that people from the United States have begun to send me their meaningful beads with explanations as to why they enjoyed making them. "I found the process of writing and rolling the paper to be very meditative." The addition of these beads I find adds a wonderful new layer to this project. 

Workshop Chats Compilations

Here are brief snippets of three of the workshops I've had so far. This is just merely an example of some of the things that were discussed.

A Death of an Idea

Last week I had a tutorial which unfortunately killed an idea I was excited about. I had decided that out of every bead workshop i did, that an image would come out of it. I would create the image from the beads that the people who joined my workshop made. However, I was told that regardless on how I might have felt about these images, I might just not get a good grade if i submit these. So rest in peace idea. Maybe I'll resurrect you someday.

The new idea is to use a dining room table, set it up like one of my workshops, and have six audio recordings from the conversations that were made from previous workshops. I then would lay out the beads that have already been made previously and a glass bowl in the center. I would hope and encourage people to touch/play/keep the beads and/or make new ones to place in the bowl. After every night I would weigh the beads and see how much was taken and given. I also plan on having people from previous workshops come back on the first opening days and join in on bead making.

I still have up to four possible workshops planned with one coming up this weekend in Newcastle. At the end of the month I plan to fly to Lebanon and will do a few workshops there. Hopefully I will be able to complete everything on time, which I'm sure is a very common worry amongst MFA2 students in the middle of March.

Workshops

The past week consisted of three workshops. The first workshop was held in my studio. I expected maybe three people to join me, but unfortunately only one person was able to make it. However, we decided to continue anyway and make beads together. I brought crisps and biscuits while i recorded our conversation while we made beads together. She stud around for about three hours and then we decided to perhaps try another workshop with more people in the future together. The gist of our conversation was mainly about art and the meaning of it. Specifically we spoke of about placing meaning into into otherwise meaningless things. I haven't figured out what image would match that conversation, but I am leaning towards something that has to do with a shrine. 

The second workshop I had was in my flat. I had three twenty something females come and i served tea and chocolate cake with vanilla ice-cream. I recorded the conversation that we had with two dictaphones at each end of the table. The conversation that evolved ended up being a great deal about relationships and their general fears about being in one. They also stuck around for about thee hours. I have decided that the image that I would like to represent their conversation is the incubus in Fuseli's "The Nightmare" added with wings and horns to also represent the creature in Judaic mythology called  who represented the seven deadly sins. 

The final workshop that I've had so far had three twenty something males and one female. I offered them coffee, crisps and biscuits. Unlike the other two workshops the conversation was sporadic and lighthearted. It ended up being more about fun than debating or theorizing. It was good fun, and I was pleased that I received a vastly different reaction to this workshop than the others. They also lasted around three hours. I haven't fully re-listed to the conversation to make an assessment on the image that I wish to use. 

In todays society where young people hang out with each other in front of a tv with phone and laptops, or that the main mode of conversations is through chat rooms or messages, it is exciting to see people sit down and do monotonous work while connecting with each other. I have about four more possible workshops planned in the near future. I am excited to see how this project progresses further, and hopefully I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. 

Regarding the Group Critique Last Week

Last week we had a group critique which left me a little dumb struck, I'll admit. How this critique was supposed to be done was that we visit a student's studio, and while he or she remains silent, we observe their work for ten minutes, attempting to understand what exactly are they trying to do, and if they were perhaps successful. After that, the student responds to the comments, answering any questions made, and describing their work and process and little deeper for another ten minutes. Then I suppose the last ten minutes was supposed to be more of a helpful tip in steering them in the supposedly right direction. 

I have say that when I found out that this type of critique was going to happen this early in the game, I was a little confused. From what I can see with my work and the work of that majority of the MFA 1 and 2 students, they have not progressed far enough to help anyone to understand what is going on without any explanation at all. Once it came to be my turn I marveled at how the tutor and students seemed fixated on my process of drying the beads and transferring images as if that was the art, without feeling like I was able to tell them that it had nothing to do with the final product at all. 

On top of that, I found our tutor's "advice" to be derailing, unnecessarily aggressive and demotivating. I remember beginning to be surprised by her words when she told one of the students "It can't be as straightforward as that". Perhaps I am the only one who feels this way anymore, or perhaps its my cultural background or maybe I am a little old fashioned, but I have always felt that regardless of the extreme position that an artist might take: shocking, preachy, opinionated, it is far better than being passive. I had the feeling that this tutor was trying to confuse and derail the students rather than help develop their practice, which is what I had expected any art school was supposed to do. 

When it came to be my turn, my work was immediately attacked as not developed, confrontational, using bad materials, and was, essentially, "not art". By this time I was so surprised that by the 21st century post graduate tutors were even aloud to say something isn't art. I was asked, point blank, if I thought that my work was art, and I couldn't help but reply that yes I did. Afterwards I felt that I was being challenged or rebuked, and I knew that anything that I said about my work and process would be only defensive, and therefore decided to say the minimum of what was required of me. 

Right after the critique was finished, I couldn't help but feel boggled. I was so confused about what was said that I started to think about everything that was said to me in other critiques and tutorials in the past. I began to feel that I had been pushed and pulled in so many directions on how my work should be that I no longer felt I had a say in it anymore. I wanted to know, should I change everything or just ignore everyone for once and go with my gut instinct, regardless on how others may hate it. I decided to speak to another teacher at ECA, one that I hadn't spoken to since the beginning of my time there. I wanted fresh eyes, and fresh opinions. 

I am so glad that I did so. This teacher was able to understand what I was trying to accomplish and reassured me that my work was actually art. He told me that he knew that I didn't want to be regarded as the "bead girl" but an artist who had an interest in more social and anthropological concepts, the beads being a by-product. He told me that my instincts were correct in that I should do what I wanted to do. He then gave me some readings to perhaps help me with describing my work a little better to those who might not understand it as well, or who might not thing it is "art". I began to read Marcel Meuss' "The Gift" and will later read Michel DeCerteau's "Practice of Everyday Life". 

I can't express how relieved I was after such a tumultuous day. I finally received the help and encouragement that every student should receive at an institution. We attend school, regardless on what level we are at for professional help and guidance. I am sure we will receive our harsh criticism from the world once we finally embark into it. 

Medusa

The first piece created out of paper beads from my first workshop. It is an abstracted image of Medusa who was used as a symbol in early feminist literature. I chose her to symbolize the discussion that came out of the first workshop. They ended up talking about the condition of women these days in contemporary, developed nations like the UK, and if they have or haven’t fully gained equal rights.

Something Meaningful Greeting

Over the Christmas holiday I recorded myself greeting those who follow me on my facebook, twitter and tumblr accounts. Even though I have been talked out of working on these sights for my MFA, I am still going to nurture it and hopefully it will grow into something after the school year is completed.

Beginning of Work Shopping

I've begun to start work shopping. The first work shop was in my apartment in Edinburgh with several female doctorate students came, chit chatted and made beads. The second work shop was in Seattle with several mixed gender thirty somethings to early 60s.

The first group ended up talking mainly about women'd rights and feminism. They ended up enjoying themselves greatly and lingered for quite a while. Later several of the girls asked if I was going to make another workshop so they could do it again. The second group ended up talking about family, how to take care of children, issues, and ideals. Several people have asked if they can continue making beads and send them to me here in Edinburgh.

A Brief Overview on Paper Beads

          During my short time in paper bead making, I have found out many interesting things about these little objects that lead me to believe that they contain a great deal of meaning. The first time I had heard of these beads was when I traveled to Goma, an eastern city of The Democratic Republic of the Congo. I visited a center for children who had undergone a great deal of trauma one way or another. The center was called The New Hope Center. It was a home for children who lost their parents to HIV/AIDS, or who witnessed their entire village slaughtered by rebel armies or other unimaginable things.

            For them, making paper bead jewelry was a form of therapy to be able to help them through the fact that they had been through horrors no one should endure. The center would then ship the jewelry out to western countries in hopes of selling them and making money to help pay for these children’s tuition. I then later saw the beads sold all over Uganda in touristy places. I found out later that paper bead making is quite popular in Uganda, and is usually connected to social entrepreneurial programs in hopes to help impoverished women up on their feet. Other such programs are also located in nations such as Rwanda, Kenya and South Africa.

            I myself made almost two thousand beads, and I was impressed after such a number was completed, that women make as many as they possibly can as a living. However, I realized that in order to make a profit from making paper bead jewelry, one would have to make thousands of beads daily. The reason for this is because even though two thousand beads is an impressive number, it really doesn’t make enough to create the number of necklaces or earrings, which would be then sold at a nominal price. As someone who is not in the least professional in bead making, I have only been able to make one hundred beads in a period of many hours. Although the process of making beads is easy and cheap, after the five hundredth bead, my fingers would become raw and painful to the touch, until finally the one-thousandth bead would give the calluses I needed to carry on.

            In the West, in places like the United States, the United Kingdom and Australia, beads have begun a renewed interested because of the influx of paper bead jewelry coming in from Africa. However, due to ignorance, these beads have become eroticized and are widely considered a quaint item to help shabby clothes become bright and give an “African” flavor. Ironically the tradition of paper bead making came from the United Kingdom in the late nineteenth century. Using fair trade, many stores such as Walmart and Wholefoods have sold this jewelry advertising them as “you can empower you wardrobe by empowering a woman who made these beads.” Giving the buyer a sense of good will and charitable giving.

            For me, paper beads walk a fine line between being exploitative or of being full of meaning. Without the western market to buy paper bead the women in Uganda, Rwanda, Kenya, ect. would be back to nothing, trying to find another way of supporting themselves or their families. Paper bead making has become many things to many people, a way of income, a therapy, or merely just a fun pastime. I believe, as touchy as they can be, they should remain what they are right now, a little help to those who need it, until something better might come along. 

Sculpture Court

Tuesday the 4th of December, I moved my studio to the Sculpture Court in hopes that people might come up to me and I would teach them how to make paper beads. I decided to cover myself with an apron to signify placing a work place into a location specified for displaying things. I then bought candy to perhaps lure people to come up to me. I think that this would have been far more successful had I not been in the Sculpture Court. I might choose to do this again outside of the University of Edinburgh Library or in some sort of non artistic location so that people might be more curious about what I am doing. I did get people to come up to me and write something in the bead that they made. However, being that everyone was stressed for time because of the end of the semester, I wasn't able to get as many people to come up to me, try as I might. This Sunday I am going to have my first get together teaching a handful of people how to make beads. I hope to have more of these types of events next semester.

Loads of Beads

This semester I have somehow managed to make 1,737 beads. 1,208 of those beads are blank and covered in a general adhesive. 502 are also blank but covered in GAC 800. 22 of the beads have something meaningful printed in them from one of my social networking sites and the rest was from sitting in the sculpture court, and also has something meaningful written in them.

Murmur: Co2 project space

The Co2 project space turned out, I believe, rather well. Of course there were quite a few anxieties right before the actual show due to typical technology push-backs, but luckily for me and Tomoko, everything worked out great.

Tomoko Tabuchi and I both decided to join together to create a collaborative piece of art for the Co2 project space, which was shown last Friday. Looking at her work I decided to dust off my video editing skills and work with the concept that she has been working on in the past year. In our first meeting we talked about the idea of going to a specific location, where Tomoko would take ten photographs in 360º every day during various times of the day for five days. After that, she would give me the photographs when she was done and I would edit them using Final Cut Pro piecing the photos together so that they would create a continuous, horizontal image. I ended up with three quicktime videos two of which had three of Tomoko's images on them, and one of the videos only had two. I ended up editing out two of the photos because I felt that they were not necessary for the project.

While editing, I found that the videos had a calming affect, making me feel contemplative and thoughtful. As individual photos, there wasn't really much going on other than a pretty scenery with the occasional passerby. But placed together, the scenes moved and changed vaguely, but quickly which gave my eyes something that could distract them for a while and not become bored. I found that though it was rather vague, there were small stories coming out of the images, as people walked past, the weather changed and leaves fell. I realized that what Tomoko and I were creating was an experience.

 

Dealing with the actual room Co2 was the difficult part. I borrowed three projectors and three DVD players from the University of Edinburgh and had to figure out where to place them in the room without them being in the way, without being visible, and without (I feared) ruining each others images by cross beaming. I was advised not to place them on plinths being that plinths are hard to find and make, but instead I should build shelves in the wall instead. So this was the plan. I bought shelves, and took all day Thursday to figure out how to place them on the walls. However, though the shelves that I had built were sturdy enough, the walls proved to be a huge problem and I kept on having nightmarish visions of the University's projectors falling and shattering. Tomoko and I decided to place the projectors on the ground. We placed them on top of the DVD players, covered the DVD players with white cloth and decided that was our best bet.

The day of the critique, Tomoko and I had placed one projector facing the door, and the other two facing the other walls with the window with the view of the castle completing the vista. The videos were on loop with sound of a recording of the actual location playing along with it. All we had to do was wait until 4pm when the sun went down.

During the critique, I was quite happy to hear that people were asking on if all of the videos were the same place, if they were segmented, if they were photos or actual moving images, if the audio was of the location, ect. Everyone seemed to quite enjoy the experience that Tomoko and I had created, and also found that the audio worked quite well with it. The only thing they didn't seem to like was the projector that was facing the door. They found it distracting and hard to see, which I didn't disagree with.

All in all, I found the whole project very successful and enjoyable to make. I found Tomoko extremely easy to work with, and I know that this project wouldn't have worked had it not been for her involvement with it. I believe that collaborative pieces can either be a huge success or a huge failure, and I believe that this project was a success and wouldn't mind working with Tomoko again in the future.

Orientalism and Neoliberalism

About two weeks ago, a conversation was created about Something Meaningful on Twitter. Someone (not me) asked a reasonably notable artist located currently in London what she thought about my project. Her response was disappointment. She described its "methodology smacks of cozy neoliberal participation agenda and the realization of meaning in a bead is a bit lame/orientalist". She went on to talk about her views on what art should be, which to me I found more insightful. However, reading this I was made to think, am I being orientalist in my art? And if it does indeed "smack of neoliberal agenda" because of its participatory aspect, is that a negative thing?

I came to realize that though I know of orientalism and orientalist art, I don’t know enough to combat accusations such as these. Why would this artist believe this project to be orientalist? Is it because I learned the act of making beads from a developing country? Or is it because of my constant desire to try and help those who are, I believe undeservedly suffering? Regardless of her reasoning, any thought that comes to my mind regarding my project to be orientalist is not only ignorant, but also disturbing.

Although the history of the beads is obscure, the first few documentations of its existence were during the turn of the 20th century in both England and the United States. There the paper bead moved and went in and out of popularity in various countries and cultures all over the world, until finally in 2006, a young girl visited Eastern Africa, who had no previous knowledge of paper beads, came across them.

I first saw paper beads in Uganda, Rwanda, and The Democratic Republic of the Congo. I didn't realize how much of an impact they made on me then, but I met children who had been through more unimaginable experiences than I could ever imagine, who welcomed me with open arms and with a kindness that I had never before experienced.

So, with this in mind, just because I have been privileged, and am a causation American, does this mean that I am therefore not allowed to be influenced by people of different cultures for fear of being orientalist? Am I supposed to ignore the extreme pain the children that I met just because I fear what my peers will think? It is, I suppose, these post-colonialist fears that force people in nations like the U.S. or the U.K. to turn a blind eye to atrocities that happen everyday needlessly.

Again, I know that I don't have enough knowledge about the subject to combat those who might accuse me of being orientalist. Therefore I have purchased a book called "Orientalism: History, theory and the Arts" by John M. MacKenzie, just to get my feet wet. I don't know if this book is any good, but the author seems highly reputed, so we will see how it goes.

Finally, to the accusation of my project being neoliberal: which again, my knowledge is unfortunately limited. If neoliberalism incorporates participation, then I don’t find anything wrong with that particular aspect of it. However, I don't believe that just because my project involves participation, that doesn't automatically make it neoliberal. My ideas regarding what meaning is and how it might connect with how I originally heard of the beads may be unclear, (and I am still working on the concept) but in my opinion art tends to be more interesting if it is ambiguous and those who view or participate in the project may take from it what they will. 

First Triad

            On Monday the 29th of October, I had my first triad of the year, and to be honest, I was dreading it. Although I can see the possible use of such a critique, I always found them forced, strenuous and usually left me frustrated and disillusioned. However, this triad wasn't the case.

            My tutor was Lucy Stein and she had never done a triad before. Regardless, I was quite impressed by her. She made everyone feel relaxed and able to give opinions without insecurities. The other two students in my triad were able to give their critique without too much bias, and had a kind of openness that helped, rather than discouraged my work. I even have felt stressed about the end product of my calming me down (which I'm sure was not their intent). So my conclusion to this blog is that I ended up feeling far better at the end of it. 

Sostalgia

This weekend I have been invigorating for the artist Gordon Picken at the Old Ambulance Depot in Leith. His work can be seen here. The show is up until 5pm Sunday the 28th, and I highly recommend coming to see it! Here are some nice pictures of an art-loving cat! 

Something Meaningful

As this year progresses my idea for the final show begins to take shape and grow into something a little more tangible. However, I do feel that it is a little premature to say for sure what my plan is or even if it will work. That being said, I will explain my plans for the next few months until the final show arrives.

So far I have made a few hundred blank, white beads that I learned how to make in the past year from emails with Anita Paden from the New Hope Center in Goma, Congo. Instead of making it purely about what has been happening in the past few decades in Central and Eastern Africa, I have decided to make it about as many people as I can. I decided to make the theme a little less specific and more about what people around the world think is meaningful to them. 

So how I have decided to attempt this is through social media. I feel that the world is quickly becoming smaller and smaller by the day because of social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, and more and more social networking sites popping up yearly to incorporate more of people's interests and ideas. We have entered into the age of the internet and this, I believe, is where art is headed as well. I have created a Facebook page, a Twitter page and a Tumblr page all called "Something Meaningful" calling anyone and everyone to get involved by just telling me what is meaningful to them. My hope is that more and more people will follow and share this page and briefly share their thoughts, in which I will conceal into a bead and mix it in with the rest. 

The idea is to make as many beads full of meaning as I can, but being that their thoughts are concealed within a bead, just as the Congolese children's memories are concealed within their beads, there is no way to know how meaningful this bead is. I would also like to create little workshops to teach how to make paper beads, and to create meaning by social gatherings. 

In the past few days, it has been stretching for me to be actively posting things on my sites just so I can engage people to converse with me, and in truth at the moment it does feel like pulling teeth. However, I do have fifty followers just from within the past few days and a few replys, enough to keep my spirits up. My demographic so far is around the age of 20 to 30 years old, being that I had to ask my friends first to like my page, however, there are a few people that have followed me that I don't know, and I find that very exciting. What's even more fascinating is that ever since I have made these pages, people I haven't spoken to for years are now making contact with me (personal and irrelevant side note).  

Regardless on what happens out of this, I am excited to see what kind of results comes out of it. 

Why So Literal?

As I begin my second year of my MFA, I am oddly reminded of my first year of undergrad at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle. I remember that year very clearly. "This year is designed to demolish any previous conceptions you have had about art." I was told. I was taught how to create sculptures out of found objects, to incorporate my own body in my work, to think of the negative space rather than the positive. It was all rather eye opening and intriguing.

However, one particular lecture I had I remember my professor showing slides of art pieces of contemporary artists as we all shyly gave our opinions on them. For the life of me I wish I could remember which pieces they were, or if I even liked them, but there was one in particular where I remember my teacher telling us students that the work was clearly to literal, and it should have been more ambiguous.

I am unsure if it was because of my naturally argumentative nature, or if I really did see red flags of close-mindedness go up, but I began to disagree with her, interrupting her lecture. "I'm not saying there is anything wrong with ambiguous art, or art that doesn't clearly have any meaning, but cant there be a time and place for art that does have meaning? I mean, the problem with ambiguity is that it tends to be unrelatable for people who don't have an invested interest in the arts. Whereas I find people outside of the art world are more drawn to pieces that are more obvious. So what's wrong with that?"

Years later, as I continue to become engulfed by what is called the "art world" my soul begins to fade more and more because my natural tendency to make art with a narrative is being drowned with ambiguity. So I go back to my original naive question: what is wrong with being literal in art? I am open for arguments, but for now I am of the opinion that it is time for the art world to get over itself. Let’s try looking at things with the childlike fascination like artists used to.